The World - One Chicken at a Time

I stand up on the pedals and use all of my weight to push them down, struggling to start and make it up the small hill. The rear tyre alternates between gripping and slipping. the slippery red mud track is not making it any easier. Bang! Sproing! Suddenly the pedals are free-wheeling and don't drive the wheel any more and I just manage to stop myself from crunching into the bar. Damn, the rear gear derallier has completely come off the axle. It looks tricky to fix without tools...

Vang Vieng

The three hour bus ride north from Vientiane to Vang Vieng doesn't feel like it takes too long, I'm a little sleepy due to the heat and noise of the old bus but the countryside slipping by is  too good to miss; Villages, jungle, shacks, rice paddies, shacks, rice paddies, jungle and people going about their everyday lives. I resist sleep to keep looking out the window.
We pull into Vang Vieng and de-bus, there are two touts trying to encourage the punters to their guest houses. In Lao fashion, they aren't trying too hard - they are friendly and not at all pushy. Nice.

Friends in Every Bar

Vang Vieng is a funny place. I stroll around the town - an over the top collection of restaurants (largely serving the same menus), guesthouses, bars and a few tour companies and internet cafes sprinked about. The Lonely Planet entry for Vang Vieng says to be prepared for endless reruns of Friends in the TV Bars. I thought they were joking. Nearly all of the bars have large TV's and all, execpt one, are playing Friends! (The other bar is playing the Simpsons) Each bar has about a dozen people lying down, watching the TV. I stroll around becoming more disheartened with Vang Vieng town, it has been over commercialised and ruined - it could be any backpacker haven in Asia, the unique local character of Vang Vieng town looks to have been erased.
Vang Vieng town looks to be party central after sundown. There are so many bars, some with hammocks! The Bamboo guesthouse has bungalows right beside the Bamboo bar! I guess if you stay there you aren't there to sleep. Also, given that the bars surrounding the Bamboo play loud music till about 5:00 am you definitely wouldn't sleep there!
It's not all doom and gloom though; The good thing is that the local area around Vang Vieng is breathtakingly beautiful with rice paddies, the Nam Som river and limestone kharsts looking to be largely untouched by the influx of backpackers. There are plenty of opportunities to hike and explore.

Sweet Home Vang Vieng - Maylyn Guesthouse

My base for the next few days is the Maylyn Guesthouse. It is on the other side of the river to Vang Vieng town and is very quiet, has a garden full of butterflies and friendly staff. I'm staying in a bungalow (A small hut on stilts) with bed, a fan, a mosquito net and an attached bathroom! It's clean and in a fantastic setting, I couldn't ask for more here in Vang Vieng. They also hire mountain bikes and motors bikes which opens the options for exploring too.

Dinner at Maylyn is a delicious chicken curry, washed down with a Beer Lao. While eating I talk to Joe, who turns out to be the owner of the guesthouse and we are joined by Martine(Belgian) and Anika(Dutch) who have been talking together in Dutch but switch to English to join the conversation. Martine is leaving for Luang Prabang tomorrow but Anika is here for another couple of days and keen to go mountain biking tomorrow and look at some caves and pools.

Bikes, Caves and A Blue Pool

Breakfast is a banana pancake and a cup of tea at the guesthouse. Our bikes arrive and we set off, armed with not much more than just our camera gear. Barely 100 metres from our starting point, we stop to take photos of local villagers working in the rice paddies. I learn very quickly that Anika likes to stop and take photos of everything, like me, which means that we stop a lot and that it isn't a problem for either of us. A good combination. We chat and photograph and cycle along the bumpy unpaved road; It's quiet but we see some other traffic - scooters, motor bikes, people walking.
It seems that around every corner is a sign pointing towards a "Buddha cave" and a pool for swimming. We cycle past several until we see one advertising a Blue Pool as well as a cave, mistaking it for the  Blue Lagoon we take the turn off, arriving shortly at the ticket hut, located at the base of a small hill. We pay our 5,000 Kip each and head up the hill on our bikes.
I stand up on the pedals and use all of my weight to push them down, struggling to start and make it up the small hill. The rear tyre alternates between gripping and slipping; the slippery red mud track is not making it any easier. Bang! Sproing! Suddlenly the pedals are freewheeling and don't drive the wheel any more and I just manage to stop myself from crunching into the bar. Damn! The rear gear derallier has completely come off the axle.
It looks tricky to fix without tools but I do my best to untangle and route the chain, refit the  derallier and tighten the axle nut with my fingers. Now I will have to take it very easy until I can find a spanner to tighten the axle nut properly. I push the bike up the hill to meet Anika and gingerly pedal along the level ground, expecting the derallier to fail at any time.
We get to the base of a Kharst and follow a young, mute Hmong guide up a steep path up into a cave - have a bit of a look around inside, it's hard to see much with my small torch, then back down to the blue pool below. The water is cool and very refreshing, we try and swim against the current and splash around for about half an hour.

We continue riding up the road and find a repair shop where the mechanic is happy to tighten my axle nut, so I can pedal properly again. I cycle on, a little more confidently. It's rice planting time and the paddies have teams of people planting out young rice seedlings, up to their knees in mud. It looks like very hard work but they are joking and talking together while they work. More photos.
As we look over the fence at one team pulling up tice seedlings, they wave at us to come in and try for ourselves. We Pull up some rice, much more slowly than the others (falang are slow and hopeless - they laugh at us!) and listen to their banter - they make a long, hard day seem shorter for themselves by joking and chatting while they work. One guys periodically shrieks and runs and dives to catch frogs hopping around - I guess they will be in the pot for dinner tonight. After  a few photos, it's time to move on again. We cycle and photograph until we run out of afternoon and then cycle back to Maylyn to shower, relax and enjoy a Beer Lao and another good meal. I have the Laab and sticky rice, the portions are large and delicious. Excellent quality and value for money.  

Relaxing? What is that?

I don't have any plans this morning, so I sit in the restaurant at Maylyn, drinking tea and get chatting to Joe again, he shows me around the gardens and grounds and I spend the morning chatting and relaxing until a group cruise through to head out tubing. I grab my togs and stroll up to town as well.
I don't have anyone to tube with but get talking to two girls, Marlous and Patty, in the ride out to the start point. They are Dutch and taking a long holiday after graduating. The start point for tubing is a car park and a couple of large bars beside the river. The nearest bar is absolutely heaving with people and a massive party is going on. What a great start! We decide to skip the first bar and hit the river. There are plenty of bars on the river, catering to thirsty tubers. Each bar seems to have some attraction, most have incredibly high, shaky looking swings into the river, one has a flying fox and one has a mud-pit.
We alternate between floating down the river teasing Patty, who seems to always have the slowest tube and sitting in bars, drinking buckets of Lao vodka, redbull and coke. It is hellishly good fun and not at all like tubing down the Pohangina river at home! By the end, we're getting cold and it's raining on and off, so we make our way down to the end point and return our tubes. We meet up for dinner later, but we're all a bit tired out from a day tubing and boozing to stay out too late. Hopefully we'll catch up in Luang Prabang.

Exploring By Car

The next morning while eating breakfast at Maylyn, Anika's friends, Rik and Rio (with their son
Ebel) invite me to join them all going for a scenic drive back along the same road Anika and I  cycled. Rik, Rio and Ebel live and work in Vientiane and first visited Vang Vieng 15 years ago when it was a very different place. We stop regularly to take photos and stop in a Hmong village to follow a path to climb to the top of one of the kharsts (a kharst is a limeston out. We are led to the top by two local guides, aged around 10 years old, and when we finally get to the top we find a sala (a shelter comprising of a platform and a roof, without walls) so we take more photos of the stunning view of rice paddies, kharsts and even the pool we swam in yesterday, before turning around and heading back down the steep, slippery path.

Rik, Rio and Ebel have to drive back to Vientiane soon, so after a few more photo stops, a swim for Rik and Ebel in the river and a fine lunch at a Scandinavian bakery we say our goodbyes and wander back to Maylyn looking in all of the small shops on the way back.

Organic Mulberry Farm

Anika has read that the Organic Mulberry Farm(OMF) serves dinner so we decide, over a Beer Lao, to catch a tuk tuk 4km out of Vang Vieng to give it a try. We arrive at 8:00 pm, which turns out to be a little later than usual - the kitchen has almost shut - so we order while talking to a Kiwi couple Gretchen and Costa. The food arrives and is really delicious, all made from produce from the OMF. With a lot of "ooh's" and "mmm's" we work out way through the meals, washed down with a glass of mulberry wine - very much like a tart port. Our conversation flows really well and at about 10:00 we realise there is only one staff member left, so we catch a tuk tuk back to town and have a good laugh walking back to Maylyn in the heavy rain, sharing Anika's umbrella.

Onward to Luang Prabang

If anyone is planning to visit Vang Vieng and is looking to relax somewhere nice and quiet (away from the party zone in town, I wholeheartedly recommend staying at the Maylyn guesthouse. The rooms are excellent value, quiet and clean; the restaurant serves excellent food (in large portions) and Joe, who has been living in Vang Vieng for nine years has a wealth of knowledge of the local area and is well worth talking to - buy one of his excellent maps and go and explore.
Sadly, it's time to move on and as Anika is checking out on the same day, we decide to minu-bus to Luang Prabang together. It looks to be a 5 to 9 hour trip (depending on who you ask and probably the weather, road condition and state of repair of the bus) over windy mountain roads.

Till next time.  

Take care,
Dale/BoriS

"60% Buddhist, 40% animist and spirit cults"
- quote from www.Biking-Laos.com.

I stumble out of the bar with the monsoon rain instantly turning into puffs of steam as it hits my chilli-rich, laab-fired, super-heated body. The  2 beer Laos' I gulped down with the laab has the effect of warping time and space on the jog back to the hotel. Where am I? Read on to find out.

Day 1 - Arrival - Bangkok - Vientiane

Rubbing my eyes, I get out of bed and zombie-walk into the shower; Three hours sleep wasn't enough but I only have a small window from my arrival in Bangkok until my domestic flight to Udon Thani in north eastern Thailand. I check out of the expensive hotel and go through the normal procedures - taxi to the airport, check my baggage, board the aeroplane and after an hour, I'm in a full minivan heading to the Thai-Laos Friendship Bridge border crossing.

Getting a Laos visa takes about 15 minutes (surprisingly easy) and going through immigration is easy. The taxi to Vientiane costs 300 Thai Baht, around NZ$15, and takes about 40 minutes to get me to the Hotel Laos.
Food is very affordable: BBQ chicken(ping gai) with serving of Sticky rice and some Makphet ("Mac-pet", a mixture of crushed green chillies and vegies) came to 8,000Kip (around NZ$1-30) Wow!

Back to the hotel for a Nana nap. The heat is a bit oppressive to my non-acclimatised body - around 29 DegC and with the humidity around 75%.I stumble and fall into my hotel room; I'm thoroughly soaked with sweat, have a full stomach - with my mouth on fire and I'm as tired as hell. What's not to like about Vientiane?

After my afternoon snooze, I go for as stroll around to get the lie of the land.
Vientiane reminds me, most of all, of Chiang Mai in Thailand; Vientiane has a small town feel, even though it is reasonably large. Everyone I bump into seems to be very laid back and there is definitely no "hard sell" for anything. Very relaxing.

Again, I head back to the Hotel Lao for a shower, a rest and a change of clothes and then back out to find something for tea. I walk down to the riverside area (the river, being the Mekong river) and grab a legendary Beer Lao, the local brew. Beer Lao is available everywhere for around US$1 (or 8,000 to 10,000 Kip for an 860ml bottle) and it slides down quickly because I'm watching a spectacular lighting storm on the opposite side of the river, in Thailand. There is no doubt that that storm is heading this way, it's just a matter of minutes - I gulp down the last drops of my beer as I see all the stallholders frantically packing up their portable restaurants.

I scarper to a nearby restaurant/bar, the Ban Lao, and order a serving of Laab Gai, a minced chicken salad (only cooked these days due to modern, western squeamishness) and ask for it to be spicy. The manager smiles - I think she is used to falang (foreigners) only ordering mild laab. The laab arrives with some sticky rice and boy is it HOT! It is delicious with basil, mint, chillies mixed through the minced chicken and a splash of fish sauce and lime, but it is making me work hard to eat it! I gulp down another beer Lao in record time to provide some cooling. Phew! I notice a local tour guide on the next table eating laab as well and I don't feel so bad because she's panting and wiping sweat from her face with a serviette. It is hot - even for the locals!

I stumble out of the bar with the monsoon rain instantly turning into puffs of steam as it hits my chilli-rich, laab-fired, super-heated body. The  2 beer Laos' I gulped down with the laab has the effect of warping time and space on the splashy jog to the hotel.

Day 2 - Vientiane

I have a good lie in until 7:15, before heading down for breakfast, a bread roll and fruit with a cup of tea - I want to let my cauterised internals recover a little before I start exploring again. Today I'm going to Xieng Khuan (a Buddha park), Pha That Luang, the "most important national monument in Laos" according to Lonely Planet, and Patuxai a Laos-alike of the Arc de Triomphe.

While walking down the street, looking for a Tuk tuk, I get hailed by one! There is a standard price for each of the tourist sights and I can go to the three I want for 195,000 Kip (or around US$24) that doesn't seem too expensive when Xieng Khuan is 24km south of Vientiane, along the Mekong river, while the other two are in Vientiane.

Xiang Vieng

Xiang Vieng is a Buddha Park - literally a park populated with dozens of statues of Buddha and Hindu Gods. It is said that genius and madness are not too far apart and Xiang Vieng is a certainly a candidate. The statues and sculptures are packed into a small space and become overwhelming and give me the impression of an obsessive compulsive personality at work. Well worth and hour strolling around - one of the sculptures is large enough to climb inside (through and open mouth), up 3 levels of stairs to clamber on top of it.

Pha That Luang

Is very important to the Laos people as is is both a symbol of Laos sovereignty and is also a Buddhist symobol (and temple). After a good look around, I buy a couple of soft drinks - one for me and one for Ton, my Tuk tuk driver.

Patuxai

"At the northeastern end of LaneXang Ave.
It is the Patuxay or Victory Gate of Vientiane,
Built in 1962 (B.E 2505), but never complete due to the country's turbulent history. From a closer distance it appears less impressive, like a monster of concrete."
A sign on the inside of the Patuxai:

Onwards

Tonight after a meal of Pad Thai (Thai fried noodles) I realise that I really have top plan this trip - I'm going to miss some of the things I want to see if I don't start moving. I'll have another day here in Vientiane to relax and recharge a little then I plan to visit (hopefully in this order) the following towns:

• Vang Vieng - back packer haven and river tubing, rock climbing and limestone karst scenic area.
• Luang Prabang - World heritage historic city, exotic temples, hopefully time for a cooking class.
• Paske - in the southern province of Champasak, I hope to hire a motorbike for a few days to explore and maybe spot some elephants.
• Champasak - vist the nearby Wat Phu a Khmer temple copmplex similar to Angkor Wat in Cambodia (but smaller)
• Bangkok - aahhh the city of contrasting extremes. 

Take care,

Dale/Boris

Wellington - NZ Beerfest February 28th 2009

The Lowdown

www.beerfestival.co.nz
Waitangi Park 12:00 PM till 9:00 PM
$25- Per ticket
Drinks $5/glass

Team FireChief Reporting for Duty

Team FireChief are ready: Me, Finchy, Fish, Vee and Chris are primed and ready for a fantastic day trying some new beers and hanging out together. We're decked out in garish Island shirts and wearing plastic kids-sized firemans helmets – we are definitely here for a good time.

We front up to the gate and barely have to wait before having our bags checked (oddly, Vee gets her water bottle confiscated and then returned to her) and then tickets checked and vouchers for free Monteiths beer are issued. This is a good sign, there are wall to wall staff ready to get people in the gate with as little fuss and delay as possible - good work!

So Many Beers -  Bring 'Em On!

Bennetts Fine Beers and Ales

We are encouraged by the founder, Maurice Bennett, who almost takes us hostage as we walk past the Bennetts stand. He is extremely passionate about his beers.
Maurice gives us a full run down on the beers, along with recommendations. It sounds like we can't go wrong, so my first beer of the day is a Bennetts Wellington Lager. It is an excellent drop, light, crisp, tasty and an excellent start to what promises to be a legendary day.

Tuatara Brewery

Our next stop is the Tuatara Brewery stand. Vee and Chris are keen advocates of Tuatara beers – Vee the Ardennes, a Belgian style beer and Chris the Hefe, a cloudy wheat beer. Both are nice, but I love zesty Belgian beers, so I go for the excellent Ardennes.
I'm getting pretty hungry; pouring back beers on an empty stomach isn’t a recipe for longevity, so I make a note to find lunch. Soon.

Smoking Room

There is a large marquee, with comfy seats etc in the middle of the central grass area, handy for comfortable shelter from the rain today and much appreciated as by the punters packing it out. It is actually the one of two marquees housing tiny cigarette stands. The stands are small and unobtrusive, only noticeable because the young ladies staffing them are dressed in bright red outfits.

Baltika

Fish has already had a Baltika and is keen for us to give them a try. Baltika is a Russian brewery and they have an impressive array of beers to try. We mosey over to the Baltika stand, admire the pretty Baltika girls on duty and order our beers. I go for the Porter; what a brilliant beer! I have never heard of Baltika, but they certainly brew good beer. Note to self – visit Russia some time, bring a maddening thirst!

Harrington's Brewery

Harrington's Brewery are next on the list for us. Ahhh, what memories - we've all stumbled from Harrington's in Christchurch in our dim and distant past(s), so their beers are a real trip down memory lane – especially their Ngahere Gold! The boys go for the Ngahere, but I'm getting a taste for Porters after Baltika, so I put my hand up for a Wobby Boot porter. I am not disappointed, it's a particularly tasty beer – a pleasure to enjoy - again, Harrington's deliver the goods!

Lunch – At Last!

I am so hungry, I have to get food. It's a dilemma – curry that will probably be mild or ribs. Ribs. Ribs. Curry. Ribs it is! Hell Pizza deliver the goods for the ribs, sticky, messy and deliciously fitting for a day drinking beer.  They don't last long and look as if a school of piranhas have been by after I've finished. Right, the next beer has to be from Croucher Brewing Co – we've walked past their stand and talked to the girls there a couple of times and their beer has got to be worth a shot.

Croucher Brewing Co.

We front up at Croucher Brewing, keep talking to the lovely girls and order a couple of beers, I go for their pilsner – I need some refreshing after the sticky ribs. The pilsner does the trick all right. We are starting to get some attention, due to the colourful shirts and firemans helmets. One poor girl asks us if we're really firemen. Of course we lie – this is a beerfest after all.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

The rain is just getting heavier, the beer is helping but it isn’t hiding the fact that everyone is standing in ankle deep water in their chosen marquees – apart from those swimmers crossing from one side to the other in search of more fine beer.
Funnily enough, as the water and mud levels rise, the blood alcohol levels rise in proportion and everyone actually gets friendlier! Apart from being near Fish and Finchy, I haven't seen any sign of trouble – we are all here having a hell of a good time with like-minded souls. Absolutely awesome! We join the crazies and cross over to the wet side.

Jagermeister - The Decline Begins

We hang out in the Jagermeister tent for a long time, long enough for something like four Jagermeister-RedBulls each. There is a steady procession of pretty ladies trying Jager and trying to throw hoops onto deer antlers to win a prize. Bless 'em. This is where for us we crank the fun up a notch – the booze is starting to have an effect now. Everybody is having a great day, despite the weather.

The Music

The rain eases off for a bit so we venture out for some fresh air and to watch a couple of the bands play. I have no idea who the first few bands are, the only one that stood out was Charlie ASH – they're pretty good and have a unique sound.

We are all standing in puddles and or mud, watching the band and the "dancers". In some circles they would be called dancers – not in this case! The swampy ground makes conventional dancing impossible, these guys and girls are swamp-moshing (a brand new phrase – you'll hearing it more often now!); a combination of dancing, diving, splashing, flopping, sliding, recovering and avoiding being tackled and thrown into the morass.

We haven't drunk enough to consider the swamp-moshing fun yet. Maybe we haven’t been drinking enough! Time for Team FireChief to get a few refills!

The Antics – It wasn't Us!

While strolling casually past the Tuatara stand, we notice a keg has been carelessly left outside the marquee – right in the walkway in front. Fish tries to lift it for a photo opportunity – Crikey – it's full!

He and a bystander (with a combination of determination, desperation and absolutely no coordination)  manage to push the ball valve in and fill a glass or two with Tuatara's fine pilsner.

Next thing a surprisingly angry bloke with a big chip on his shoulder comes out from behind the counter and starts squealing and pointing at Fish, threatening all sorts of dire consequences for interfering with their keg.

He's a loud-mouth and is treated with all the respect that Fish several dozen bystanders can muster. None. I hope he isn’t in Tuatara's PR department! They make fantastic beer, but this guy is in the wrong party.

The Long Cool Finish – Carlsberg

We retire to the Jagermeister tent for one last Jager-Redbull before wading across the pond that was grass earlier in the day, and park ourselves at the Carlsberg stand. It's dry, though flooded and friendly. I have no idea how many Carlsbergs we drink, several, but it is just easier than wading and braving the ongoing downpour to go anywhere else. We stay at the Carlsberg tent until the end of the beerfest at around 9 PM. As they close the bar staff throw me a small tent! Yay! A freebie! Thanks Carlsberg!

What Planet Are They On?

I head out to the portaloos and on the way back, with Fish, I take a picture of one of the smokers tents.The woman running the tent – working for one of the major cigarette companies, starts shouting.

Hey, I've been drinking all day, who cares? I keep walking/stumbling, getting about 200 metres away before being asked to return to the smokers tent by a confused security guard – he has no idea what the fuss is about either, he is a nice guy doing his job.
The smokers' tent attendant starts shouting and ranting at me. Little does she know, I've been married before and her mind tricks are powerless against me. My resistance is further enhanced by me also having a belly full of beer. Even the security guy is rolling his eyes.

Apparently in New Zealand, much like in Khmer Rouge era Cambodia, it is a serious breach of copyright to take photos of cigarette stands in a public event. Goodness me.

I let her go on for a while then delete the photo in front of her. I feel pity for her poor partner - assuming she has one; he's probably handcuffed in a cellar somewhere, praying for a quick death.

The Aftermath

We manage one final beer at the Carlsberg tent and head out onto the streets. As I mentioned earlier, there seems to be no trouble happening anywhere, that must be some record for any event in Wellington!

We finish our night with a couple of rounds of extra drinks around the pubs and a traditional post-boozing-kebab on Courtnay Place.

The Wrap-up in the Sober Light of Day

I will definitely be returning to the NZ Beer Festival in 2010. The event was well-run, reasonably affordable, the facilities were amazing. When I say facilities, I mean toilets; there were so many toilets that there was never a queue! I have never been to any event where you didn't have to queue for the toilets! Sure they were portaloos but they were clean and available.

The sheer variety and number of beers available was astounding! What a fantastic selection to try and enjoy. My favourites were: Baltik, Harringtons, Carlsberg and Croucher. That may sound judgmental, but to be honest, I enjoyed every beer that I tried.

The staff throughout were generally very good with the couple of exceptions, I experienced above and I heard a few grizzles about heavy handed female security staff, but I they were the exception, not the rule.

I take my hat off to the organizers of the Wellington Beerfest, they have outdone themselves and thank you for putting in the effort to make this years Beerfest the true day of champions, in spite of the miserable weather. Congratulations Guys, You Rock!